It’s a wonderful feeling to fall in love, but taking the next step can bring anxiety, especially if that next step involves kids meeting a new partner (and maybe their children). There are no guarantees to ensure a smooth introduction, but these five steps can be helpful.

 

Set expectations. Not all surprises are fun, and nobody likes to be lied to. Tell the children where they’re going, who they’ll meet and how long it’s going to take.

 

Stay together, but separate. Keep introductions simple, then minimize awkward interaction or potential competition by sharing an activity that allows everyone to have their own experience. Seeing a movie or taking an art class are both excellent options.

 

Bond over the experience. After the activity is over, take some time to talk about it. For instance, everyone might discuss the movie they saw over some ice cream.

 

Be open to children. Approach them with curiosity and let them know their feedback is important. Be prepared to answer any questions they have whenever they’re ready.

 

Don’t rush the new relationships. Even if the initial introduction went well, try not to blend families too quickly. By slowly building on the success and lessons of the initial introduction, loved ones will feel valued and comfortable with the pace of the changes in the family.

 

Naturally, every situation is a little different. Use expertise and empathy in leading children forward.

 

Tara Eisenhard is a divorce coach, family mediator, educator, and author of the book The D-Word: Divorce Through a Child’s Eyes. For more information, visit TaraEisenhard.com.