You Can’t Heal a Body You Dislike: Using the Deeper Wisdom of Your Own Mind and Soul to Shift from Surviving to Thriving through Self-Connection and Self-Love

 

 

The mind and body are very deeply interconnected and this connection is being better understood every day!  Let’s talk about our emotions.   Feeling our emotions in our physical body happens to all of us, yet sometimes we do not recognize the connection or we may have even developed protective mechanisms to block out these signals or connections.   Have you ever had neck tension and tried to stretch out the tightness?  What if it was related to your new intense job or your lack of rest last night due to unhappy children?  Have you felt a pit in your stomach before meetings, speaking events or seeing certain people you don’t always get along with?  Do you know someone who suffers from Celiac, Crohn’s or Irritable Bowel Syndrome and when under stress experiences digestive flare ups? The nervous anticipation can make the stomach churn and feel hollow inside and can happen days to minutes before this event depending on our thoughts.  Sometimes we realize our gut is sensitive, but we may internalize the anxiety and not always express it and think it is only “our stomachs”. 

 

Have you experienced sadness, grief or maybe anger after a difficult time in a relationship, maybe even divorce and felt like your heart is heavy, or maybe even has sharp pain or even diagnosed with a heart condition soon after?  Or how about getting a migraine, a physical symptom, after arguing with a loved one and feeling irritated or upset?  These thoughts and pressures we feel can manifest as physical symptoms and even diseases in our bodies in real time or even in anticipation of an event.   This is when emotions can get trapped in our bodies and essentially our mind-body connection creates illness or dis-ease.  Unprocessed emotional turmoil often expresses itself through physical symptoms. Learning to address the root cause can help relieve the body or also known as somatic distress and fueling our body with proper inputs makes a very dramatic difference in our physical symptoms. 

 

The mind-body connection explained:

 

Let’s go a bit deeper.  The brain and the nervous system provide the main anatomical connection. The vagus nerve, like a super highway, links the brain to major organs, forming a two-way communication channel between the mind and body.  This bi-directional channel shares information such as “gut feelings” and many more intuitive pieces of information to and from our brains related to our surroundings, safety, and other various inputs.  The hypothalamus in the brain links the nervous and endocrine or hormonal systems. The hormones released by the endocrine system regulate bodily processes like metabolism, reproduction, sleep and immunity. These systems work together to maintain homeostasis, or bodily balance through a very intricate, unique system of checks and balances which also have the ability to auto-regulate or shift depending on the environment surrounding our physical body.

 

Emotions and Stress

 

Emotions and stress are processed in the amygdala region of the brain. This triggers reactions like fight-or-flight responses which flood the body with hormones, cortisol, adrenaline, and inflammatory signaling chemicals to prepare it for action for the bigger purpose of survival. Positive emotions release dopamine and serotonin which calm the body. Also, the gut has over 500 million nerve cells that communicate directly with the brain via the vagus nerve and respond to life’s demands and inputs.  This is known as the gut-brain axis connection.

 

How we think and feel directly impacts our physical health. When we hold negative emotions like fear, anger, and anxiety in our body, it creates inflammation and disease. In order to truly heal, we must shift our mindset and cultivate self-love. As the saying goes, you can't heal a body you dislike.

 

Our brain is amazing!

 

Our brains continuously wire and rewire based on experiences, especially in early childhood. As babies, we are primed for social engagement and emotional bonding. Trauma and lack of attachment disrupt healthy development. Toxic stress in childhood shapes our neural pathways, informing how we view reality. The limbic system forms unconscious response patterns that persist into adulthood. Even twins, though genetically identical, can interpret the same events differently based on unique social interactions that wire their brains.

 

For example, one twin may receive more affection, shaping neural networks towards trust and connection. The other twin may experience subtle rejection, developing pathways of anxiety and hypervigilance. Though they share the same parents and home environment, distinct interpersonal engagement wires their brains to create diverging mindsets. Their individual lens of perception forms from countless micro-moments and exchanges and colors who they feel they are and how they see life.

 

Beyond childhood, our brains continue to be shaped by experience. Neural networks reflect what and who we surround ourselves with. What you focus on grows or becomes the preferred default route.   With mindfulness, we can influence our neuronal pathways by carefully directing our attention and beginning to shift micro-habits and our lifestyles.   By cultivating inner positivity, we alter how the brain responds to triggers and with consistent practice, we can rewire even rigid emotional patterns formed in earlier years. The brain's neural-plasticity, or capacity of nervous system tissue to grow and change allows transformation starting with self-awareness.

 

Our friendly flora to the rescue:  

 

One other amazing layer to our impressive bodies is our friendly flora, or bacteria that help us live and break down our food and also our hormones/chemicals.  There are approximately 100 trillion bacteria living in the human gut microbiome. This complex ecosystem of microorganisms has a profound impact on many aspects of health, including mental and emotional states. Different organisms inhabit different locations in areas of our body, some are commensal or work with our bodies and others are pathogenic or detrimental.  Certain ones are designed to flourish in specific environments so it’s important to make sure we eat foods that nourish that environment for them or they can get out of balance. 

 

Here are some key ways the gut microbiome interacts with the mind:

 

- Production of neurotransmitters or chemical hormones. Certain gut bacteria produce neurotransmitters like serotonin, dopamine, and GABA, also known as happiness chemicals that regulate mood, our thinking ability and behaviors. Low levels are linked to depression and anxiety and many more symptoms.

 

- Inflammation signaling. An imbalance in gut microbes can trigger systemic or whole body inflammation, which is linked to mental health conditions like depression. Key anti-inflammatory microbes produce short-chain fatty acids which we need to fuel our bodies, our cholesterol pathways and much more.

 

- The vagus nerve is the most important connection and runs from the brainstem to the gut, transmitting signals back and forth. Chronic stress stimulates the vagus nerve without rest. Poor diet lacks nutrients needed by our flora friends and disrupts how the vagus nerve works.  Physical or emotional trauma affects this nerve over time causing damage from excess stress hormone cortisol and other messengers. Chronic tension in our muscles triggers the vagus nerve negatively.  Learning to regulate this nerve is very helpful to calming our body and mind.

 

- Immune-neuro connection. About 70% of the body's immune cells are located in the gut. Disruption of the gut immune response can impair the brain-immune communication and affect our overall immune system’s ability to perform for us. 

 

- Stress response. Stress impacts microbiome diversity and balance. This contributes to the susceptibility to stress-related psychiatric disorders. If the balance is off, our mind is likely off as well. 

 

The vast microbial community in our gut has a powerful influence over both physical and mental health through intricate pathways linking the gut and brain. Optimizing gut health can help reduce inflammation, improve immunity against illnesses and stabilize our mood.

 

Inflammation

 

Inflammation plays a key role in our health.  We need inflammation to help our bodies heal, but too much can tip the scales toward chronic inflammation due to emotional and mental stress causing systemic damage and disease. Reducing inflammation through lifestyle and mindset shifts can facilitate healing.  On a chemical level, small proteins acting as chemical messengers move around to areas in our body and bind or stick to receptor sites, like certain size cars entering tight parking spaces.  These link the mind and body. Our thoughts and emotions release these chemicals that our body builds for us and these chemicals flow throughout our body affecting how our cells communicate and how our DNA or genetic switches are turned on or off.  Our DNA makes all the building blocks for every piece of our body. Take a moment and really think about this, how does the body know not to put a finger nail on your forehead?  Or how does it know to make a muscle cell for your heart instead of putting a hair or skin cell in its place?

 

How do we calm our body and mind?

 

The limbic system in our brain processes emotions and memory. Unresolved trauma and chronic stress overload this part of the brain, leading to a continuous fight-or-flight response. The body is flooded with inflammatory stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline. Over time, this leads to inflammation, chronic disease, and a weakened immune system. To stop this cascade, we must calm the limbic system through retraining our thought patterns.  There are many ways to do this and starting with awareness of our thoughts and recognizing they are not always truthful is very important.  The past does not dictate the future and you can learn to shift and re-wire your thoughts and pathways in the nervous system with willingness to practice, increasing your awareness, surrounding yourself with positive support, learning to have patience with yourself and installing tools you can count on when the mind takes over.  Many amazing people, researchers and functional medicine doctors share how important it is to get to the root cause or possibly deeper emotions underneath all of the physical symptoms. 

 

Amazing contributions regarding Brain Rewiring

 

Shirzad Chamine, author of the book Positive IntelligenceⓇ and CEO of Positive IntelligenceⓇ Mental Fitness™ coaching, teaches us how to shift from negative to positive emotions. We can train our brain to respond thoughtfully instead of reactively. By noticing our Saboteur or inner critic, we can name it, tame it, and transform negative self-talk. This allows our Sage or inner wisdom to flourish instead. With a growth mindset, we can move through life's challenges with resilience.

 

Brene Brown's research shows how self-love and worthiness help us thrive. By cultivating self-compassion, we can quiet our inner critic and practice self-acceptance. When we hold ourselves in gentle regard, we heal the broken parts or broken-ness we feel within. As Brown says, "Owning our story can be hard, but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it." Facing our pain with courage helps us rewrite limiting narratives.

 

Joe Dispenza teaches that we need to feel elevated emotions like joy, gratitude, inspiration, peace and love to truly heal. Just thinking positive thoughts is not enough. We must embody these emotions physically. Dispenza says, "Your energy, not your words, determines your life." When we consciously tap into or teach ourselves how to access or feel these higher vibrational states, our biochemistry in our body changes in positive ways. Our heart, brain and nervous system entrain to create coherence.

 

Functional medicine takes a holistic, whole body-mind-spirit approach to healing chronic disease. As Dr. Mark Hyman explains, "The body is a self-regulating, self-healing organism." When provided the right environment, the body can move from surviving to thriving. Diet and lifestyle changes help reduce inflammation and quiet the autoimmune response. Without also shifting thought patterns, the nervous system remains on high alert. The mind and body systems must reconnect and align to attain optimal health.

 

Dr. Will Cole, author of the book, “Gut Feelings: Healing the Shame-Fueled Relationship Between What You Eat and How You Feel”, is a leading functional medicine expert who also focuses on the gut-brain connection. A healthy microbiome produces neurotransmitters that balance mood and cognition. Eating prebiotic fiber feeds good gut flora, which reduces systemic inflammation. Yet stress also damages these delicate microbes. Cole says, "True healing cannot happen until you view your body in a positive light." Loving your unique biology and body empowers the healing process and helps you become most successful.

 

Addressing Negative Thoughts and Beginning a Self-Love Discovery

 

Negative thoughts release inflammatory signals while positive emotions create relaxation. Practicing affirmations like "I am safe and at peace" while deeply breathing calms the body on a cellular level. Louise Hay pioneered the self-help movement by connecting emotions, beliefs and disease. Her classic book “You Can Heal Your Life" outlines these mind-body links. For example, resentment and frustration are tied to joint pain. Releasing toxic feelings brings the body into alignment which can diminish physical and emotional symptoms. Hay recommends techniques like mirror work to cultivate self-love, saying, "The thoughts we choose to think are the tools we use to paint the canvas of our lives."

 

Mirror work is a powerful mindfulness practice to begin liking our even someday loving ourselves. Standing in front of a mirror, gaze into your eyes with compassion and if you cannot find that right away think of someone you love and begin to apply that to yourself. Silently or out loud repeat positive affirmations about yourself and your life.  Start small with something like, “I really love your eyes.  They sparkle when you see something you enjoy.  You are a kind person who cares about animals and people”.  Work on seeing your inherent beauty, strength and purpose. Over time, this transforms self-judgment into self-acceptance. Facing your reflection with love ignites your inner light. Feel that glow emanate through your entire body.  Realize that if you are filled with judgment and critical thoughts, this is normal and sometimes it helps to write down the judgment and then flip the statement into something more positive about yourself.

 

As someone who has experienced bariatric surgery and watched the person in the mirror shift radically physically and mentally, I understand the nature of this work and do this work often to help myself grow and feel love for myself.  Please make sure you have support from a mental health practitioner, friend or coach if these exercises evoke feelings, emotions or beliefs which feel too heavy to handle. 

 

A few other ideas for inspiration or practice:

 

Think of a young child, full of light and wonder. Notice how she delights in exploring, effortlessly trusting a supportive universe. Pain has not yet clouded her vision. Though she stumbles and falls, she gets right back up again with enthusiasm. Remember that life force still alive inside you. Your inner child carries your divine spark.

 

Use your breath as an anchor in challenging moments. Take five deep inhales and exhales, sensing your belly expand with each inhalation. Imagine breathing in peaceful vibrations and exhaling stuck energy. Affirm "I am safe and at peace." Feel your heart soften as your mind clears. Your breath is a portal to present moment awareness and if you focus on how it feels to breath, or the temperature of your breath, you cannot think about the past or the future. 

 

Your subconscious mind directs your unconscious bodily functions like breathing, digestion and immunity.  By repeating positive statements before bed, recapping some of the good in your day, and expressing even small gratitude, you plant seeds to bloom while you sleep. The mind absorbs this wisdom, directing the body towards balance and gratitude practices can shift our attitudes and help our emotions flow.

 

Your soul is the essential force animating your human experience. Some call it spirit, source, God, nature or many other options too. Your soul was given life in this human body and given life to learn growth and evolution. By connecting to this higher power, you may realize your eternal nature. You are not your struggles or suffering. You are divine light here to connect with others and to have a human experience. 

 

We often numb pain or avoid trauma that needs healing. Sometimes our body even stops communicating because we numb it for so long. But a breakthrough comes when we lean into our discomfort. Have the courage to sit alone with your agony or discomfort. Cry, grieve and release the past. Work on forgiveness, not for the benefit of others, but for yourself.  Then open yourself up to receive grace. Breathe in peace and stillness, sit in the grass, or connect with nature.  Allow this energy to penetrate your soul and re-ignite your inner guidance system and begin to believe in yourself again.  Work on identifying beliefs which do not serve you any longer, like holding anger, or embarrassment, grief, guilt or shame and ask for help in working through this, with a coach, a therapist, a trusted-friend and/or your higher power.

 

Keep a daily gratitude journal. List people, experiences and simple joys that enrich your life.  Start small with what is around you right now.  Feel how each one lifts your energy. When you focus on abundance, you attract more flow and more abundance.  Your focus on solutions instead of problems, allows you to see solutions instead of problems. If you only see lack, you create more of it. Your thoughts and feelings truly do inform much of our reality. Shifting into gratitude allows your desires to return and even to flourish.  Have compassion for all parts of your journey. Everything has a purpose and remember, you are where you need to be today or right now, even in reading this article.

 

When you clear the distorted lens of fear and judgment, you can be free to be you, and your uniqueness can be embraced one step at a time.  You will soon recognize you belong here, in the web of life. You are already whole; you just forgot or layered up with armor for self protection from the things you endured thus far. You are not broken and you have a body which is a known believer and expert in self healing.  You just need to nurture its environment like you would your garden

 

How I use Positive IntelligenceⓇ to help reduce stress, improve happiness, performance, body image and overall health:

 

Shirzad Chamine's Positive IntelligenceⓇ framework utilizes techniques to reduce our Saboteur or negative inner voice and strengthen our Sage or inner wisdom. By managing our own mind, we can reduce stress, limit fight-or-flight reactivity, and increase access to our creative, higher energetic self.

 

We all have Saboteurs, and a Judge-Saboteur directing the show or movie tape in our heads.  Have you ever felt your mind was like a movie clip on repeat and your thoughts circled without stopping? You are not alone!

 

The Saboteur activates the amygdala, our brain’s fear center, increasing inflammatory stress hormones and negative emotions as discussed above. This impairs our performance, clouds judgment and strains relationships. By labeling and deflating distorted Saboteur thoughts which are not the truth even if they feel like it, we calm the fear centers. This allows the prefrontal cortex or Sage to operate, accessing reason, foresight and empathy. We shift from reactive to responsive through getting back into our bodies using tools installed like a new software update for our brains.

 

Activating the Sage, or positive side of our brain also boosts dopamine and serotonin, improving mood and motivation. Feeling inspired and creative releases pleasure neurochemicals. Even if you think you are not creative at all, this too is likely covered up from comments people may have told you. A sense of purpose triggers growth of new brain cells and pathways. Positive IntelligenceⓇ techniques also increase vagal tone which is linked to better health outcomes. Loving-kindness practices dramatically lowers inflammatory gene expression and support a healthier body through a healthier mind.

 

With a Sage mindset, we can reframe situations more positively. We have equanimity in the face of challenges. This prevents cortisol spikes and adrenaline rushes. Our nervous system remains relaxed, improving immune function. Digestion operates smoothly, optimizing nutrition. Serotonin enhances healthy gut microbes. A peaceful mind nourishes the body. Can you see some of the connections?

 

Self-criticism often undermines body image and self-worth. The inner Saboteur judges our appearance harshly. Positive IntelligenceⓇ and other mind-body practices help us appreciate our unique bodies and minds. More importantly, we take care of bodies we love.  This is the difference between ending a diet and binging and really understanding that we can change our habits one at a time and not need those dopamine hits from food, alcohol, chaos or busy-ness, or other emotionally numbing activities. Feeling gratitude for our physical health motivates us to nurture it with wholesome choices. Our healthy vitality reflects inner radiance. With self-acceptance, the body harmonizes naturally.

 

Do you have someone in your life to help you?

 

This journey toward inner peace, inner wisdom and self-love and self-healing requires courage, patience and support. A coach provides perspective and accountability as you navigate new territory as life’s waves continue to come.  As a Mental Fitness™ coach trained in Positive IntelligenceⓇ and functional medicine practitioner with a conventional medicine/pharmacy background, I am uniquely equipped to guide my clients towards true mind-body-spirit health, focusing on micro-habit change, lifestyle shifts and our mindset as the foundation for healing and reversing dis-ease.   I see each client as a unique individual and support each person’s individual needs, using my own intuition and guidance system and tools for support.  Clients who work with me begin to dream again, install new habits that work in their own lives, and connect with their core essence of who they are.  They begin to take their personal power and do what is best for their unique bodies and even their families.  This starts with a health history and deeper review of challenges along the way.   Some go on to work on personal awareness, then installation of tools and operating systems for dissolving road-blocks and for releasing limiting beliefs or thoughts, such as self-judgment.  We also work on reconnecting with inner wisdom to help the body heal, and to help them build self-respect, self-trust, self-love and to thrive instead of merely surviving.  Utilizing the Positive IntelligenceⓇ system, including a phone app for helping shift habits and coach support is the foundation for any desired change in ones lifestyle including food choices, finding one’s purpose and or calling and living the life you truly desire.  Learning to first respect, then like then love oneself is crucial for unlocking bodily healing.

 

Please reach out to a coach, therapist or supporter near you.  Join groups or support systems to help you through this part of your journey.  In the end, after you regain control of your mind, work through those fears and all of the saboteurs in it, you will likely be extremely grateful that you took those steps for yourself, your health, and your life!  

 

Dr. Tia McLaughlin is the owner of WholisticallySimple Rx, based in Hanover, PA. Visit www.DrTiaMcLaughlin.com for more about Dr. Tia’s personal story and journey to wellness. Text or call 717-885-6638 or email [email protected] to connect directly for questions or more information.